Watch your mouth!

A few weeks ago, The Son and I were watching "Oprah" when the Black Eyed Peas were on and they sang "I Gotta Feeling" and the audience did the mob dance. It was cool, really cool. The Son enjoyed it a lot. If you haven't seen it, give it a "google" you'll find it easily. The Son had also heard the song "Boom Boom Pow" by the BEP and really liked that as well. They both seemed appropriate and innocent enough to me, so while at Target the other day, we saw their CD and I bought it for The Son and myself to listen to in the car. Many of the CDs at Target had parental advisory labels on them, "The END" by the BEP did not.

Imagine my surprise (or perhaps I should say naivete) when we started playing our new CD in the car and I clearly heard the "S" word multiple times, we scanned through that song. As I kept listening, it was clear that this CD was not going to be acceptable for The Son to listen to, at least not according to my standards. It looks like we spent over $11 for two songs (one of which also has the "S" word in it briefly) that we can actually listen to.

This brings me to something that I've been thinking about a lot lately as The Son grows up and is now interested in TV shows and movies beyond "Sprout" and "Noggin." Why is there so much bad language on TV and how do we, as parents, explain inappropriate usage of words to our children when they see them on TV or hear them in our music all the time? I know when I was growing up, my parents didn't curse, didn't use words like hell and damn and now they're commonplace on most TV shows. The other day, The Son was watching a "Lassie" movie with The Husband and they used the word "faggot," this movie was rated G! G? Really? Bakugan, which my son LOVES, constantly uses the phrase, "What the...?" leaving the watcher to fill in the blank. So not attractive when your kid comes out with, "What the heck?" or worse!

After talking about this all with The Husband last night, we came to the conclusion that a parent's job has changed over the years. Whereas when we were children, it was our parent's job to pretty much shield us from "bad" words now, The Husband and I feel that is close to impossible, it's now become our job to teach our children about "bad" words and to teach them why it's not acceptable to use them even though everyone else does. It's quite a challenge. The Son is constantly asking me, "Momma, can I say _____________" and I have to explain why or why not when I answer him. It's not only a challenge, it's exhausting!

I also hear so many children using the phrase, "Oh my God" (which I think I've written about before). I find it so inappropriate and unattractive and I am not the least bit religious. The Son hears this all. the. time. at school, on TV, even at our beloved YMCA... just about everywhere. Fortunately, he is still young enough that he listens to his Momma and Daddy and does work to self-edit his language and word choices.

So, am I over-reacting? Is it now acceptable for kids to say, "Oh my God!" "What the heck/hell?" or "Damn" or "Shit?" is it going to be a couple years before we also allow the "F" word on TV? We already allow "freaking" and "friggin" don't even get me started on that! I think that sounds terrible too! I don't know, I'm interested in hearing what others think about this topic and I'm really only talking about kids here, I am no prude, I use my fair share of "colorful language" when The Son is not around, it's not like I never do, it's just that I'm finding it a challenge to teach all this to The Son. What do you think? Leave me a freaking comment why don't you? ;)

Have a great Thursday everyone!

Writer's Workshop... Solicited, Unsolicited Parenting Advice

It's Thursday and I really liked one of Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop prompts this morning. I haven't participated in a while but I have been thinking of telling you all about this for a while now and this presents me with the perfect opportunity:

Share a piece of unsolicited parenting advice...only I'm soliciting it.

Mama Kat writes a lovely piece about getting her day care children to nap every day, this includes her own children of course. She offers some great ideas which she guarantees work with the children she takes care of. Solid advice, you can be sure. My solicited, unsolicited parenting advice is somewhat different...

There are many theories on child-rearing and parenting, "Parenting by Loving Guidance and Firm Boundaries," "Parenting by Using Natural and Logical Consequences," Parenting Using Mutual Respect and Listening," etc., etc. I'm sure they're all fine, but ultimately our goal as caregivers is to get those in our care to do what we want them to do, when we want them to do it. That brings me to my theory of parenting...

"Parenting by Competition" *

My theory works especially well for boys and I say that because I have no experience parenting a girl. If you are the parent of a female child, well, you'll have to modify these competitions to suit your purposes. It's really a very simple strategy. Just turn everything into a competition. Everything. Your child will want to win so much that they'll complete any task you ask of them, and they'll do it quickly. The key here is that you must allow your child to win pretty much all the time. Allow me to offer a few examples:

1- Cleaning up their toys...
When your child has toys that need to be cleaned up, all you have to say is, "I bet I can clean up more toys than you can AND in a faster time." Your child will instantly begin cleaning up so that they can beat you. Remember, you must allow them to beat you.

2- "Trying" to go potty when out at the mall...
This works well when your child is completely potty trained and is able to go into a bathroom stall by themselves with you in the stall next to them. It's great for those kids who say, "I don't have to go" when you know darn well that they do. Simply tell them, "I bet I can pee faster than you can." Works. Every. Time. I used it when The Son was younger, in the process of potty training, and we had to go in the same stall by telling him that I could pee longer than he did and pretending to time it, with him winning of course...

3- Going upstairs to go to bed...
Simple... "I bet I can beat you up the stairs." This one has been used in our household when the theory of "Parenting by Competition" is starting to lose it's effectiveness, this is when YOU actually win the race up the stairs. It WILL make your child angry to lose but it will also give you the upper hand by making the winning next time all the more desirable. You can quickly alleviate any anger by moving on to the next competition... "I bet can put toothpaste on my toothbrush faster than you can."

4- At the Y or beach or swimming club...
"I bet I can get dressed (or undressed or changed into my swimsuit) faster than you can"

Try it! You can add, change and modify the competitions to suit your many parenting needs. I guarantee my "Parenting by Competition" theory WILL work. If it doesn't, I suggest you research my other parenting theory... "Parenting by Bribery."

*disclaimer: This theory of parenting is meant to be taken with a grain of salt, rest assured that The Son, is truly a loving, sweet, good boy with whom we only need to resort to "Parenting by Competition" with on rare occasions. On those occasions however, it really does work. ;)