Frenemy Update!

If you need to get caught up on the stupid drama that is my life, you can read about it here. If you already read it...

Guess who called me this evening? That's right, my BFF (aka Bitchy French Frenemy, I'm so clever) I was actually surprised because I thought I had her number in my phone but I must only have her cell phone number so I answered. She started off by saying she was sorry that what she had done was mean and that she was so, so, so, so, sorry. I asked her why she had done what she did and she explained to me that none of her other Facebook Friends posted information like I did and that she felt like I was sharing too much and that culturally it was very different than what she's used to. (She's lived here for 7 years and is married to an American man) I find it very shocking that NONE of her other Facebook Friends post mundane daily info about themselves but she swears it's true. I even read her some of my friend's status updates and she swears that her friends don't post like this.

For example:

"Friend #1 is having a great night :) 20 mins till bedtime for the kids...I told them I've been letting them stay up later...but back to the routine!!! Hope the snow isn't bad tomorrow I want to hit the gym in the morning :)"

"Friend #2 is back from the gym.....ran 4 miles and did weights. Updating from Husband's iphone, I know what I want for my birthday. :)"

"Friend #3 finally got out and about today! Feeling better and the sun was still shining. =O)

and my so offensive over-sharing status update...

"CityMomma/CountryMomma is home from the gym. Ran 4 miles tonight but had to suffer through a treadmill with no TV! ;) Off to take a quick shower and then make a nice, healthy dinner. Yum!"

See what I mean? I don't get how none of her friends post like this, trust me, I have 30 -50 more for today alone. Isn't that what facebook and other social media venues are?

She also didn't know about networking blogs or that people made their blogs public and that people actually made money from blogging. Basically, she didn't know anything about blogs. She couldn't figure out why I would share personal information and then link it up to Facebook.

She also didn't know that I would be able to see her status update and that I would then be able to figure out a reasonable approximation of what she said with an on-line FREE translation program. Her husband told her this and evidently told her she was crazy and she needed to take it down or not write in the first place. (Thanks to the American Husband)

She had a bad day, she took it out on me because she was irritated by my "over sharing" which as I hope most would agree was not really over sharing (I've had "friends" over share, telling graphic details of what your boyfriend is going to do with you and some honey when he gets out of jail is over sharing... former student... don't ask, I deleted her.) and she apologized over and over and over and said that if she was me, she would not want to be friends with her again. I know it takes a big person to admit that they were wrong and I do appreciate that she called me and apologized. A mutual friend of ours put her up to it because she basically told her she was wrong and that because she "started the fight, she needed to finish it" (Thanks to the Mutual Friend)

So now that leaves me deciding what to do. I will admit that I didn't invite her son to The Son's 6th birthday party next weekend because this all took place as I was mailing out the invites. I plan on discussing it with The Husband but I will probably invite him. I don't want to be mean to children because of the mistakes of a parent, I will say that I would not be inviting him if she had not apologized. I'm not THAT big of a person.

So, that's the update. What would you do? I know for a fact that we will NEVER be facebook friends again but friends who hang out and do crafts or invite each other to their New Year's Eve parties? J'y penserai (That is what I think means "I'll think about it" according to my French translator. ;) )

Enough of the juvenile drama, tomorrow we will be back to our regular scheduled, over-sharing posts...

Frenemies

Have you ever had a "friend" who you just can't seem to please no matter what you do? Why do we let these people continue to hurt us, upset us and treat us badly? Do men do the same thing? THAT I highly doubt.

Those of you who are my Facebook Friends, probably know that I'm referring to a recent episode that I had with a former FB "friend" and her love of posting status updates in her native language of French, only this last time, her status update was snarky crap about me! ME? I guess she didn't realize that I could google a translation program and get the jist of what was being said or ask a friend who is a French teacher or one of my husband's Cameroonian students to translate for me. I still can't even quite figure out why I am such an annoyance that anything negative had to be said about me in the first place. The comments related to my blog and MY status updates which honestly, aren't scandalous but usually just talk about how many miles I run, what I'm making for dinner or if I get really exciting, something funny that The Son has said to me. Isn't that what social networking is all about? I like to hear that my friend Cristina in Texas just got a new running toy and realized that she's running faster than she thought or that my friend Andrea in Delaware is going to running TWO half marathons within weeks of each other or that my friend Heidi in Pennsylvania finally had foot surgery but can't get her little one to stop jumping on the bed so that her foot won't hurt as it heals... I LIKE these updates! And if I don't, you know what? I don't read them! For example, my friend Melissa who likes to post occasional Bible passages, I am NOT a Bible passage kind of girl so I just don't read those, do I let it bother me? NO! It's her Facebook page to do with what she wants!

As for blogs, I have lots of friends who have networked their blogs to Facebook, if it's an entry I want to read, I read it, if not, I don't, simple as that. No need to bitch in another language about these people or their social networking content. I still don't understand why it was done about me AND yes, I am hurt. Really hurt.

So, I get back to my original question, have you ever had a friend that you can't seem to please no matter what you do? I'm 40 years old people, I feel like this crap shouldn't be going on in my life any more and as much as I try to say, "I won't let it bother me," "I'll get over it," "She's not worth it." It still hurts.

This particular friend was mad at me months ago, during the summer she deleted me from FB, I never really found out what I did but after a couple months of not talking to me, she told me that I had said something that hurt her feelings and she didn't feel like I was a very good friend but that she missed me and wanted to resume our friendship again. I should add that she NEVER actually told me what it was that I said or did so I still don't know but I made a conscious effort to be more sensitive, considerate and thoughtful than I had before. I even invited her to attend an upcoming scrapbooking weekend with me and my cousin and sister because I know how much she likes to scrapbook and it's local and I thought she might like to get away. I am an abrupt person, I know that, I know I can come off as harsh but I really never mean to hurt anyone's feelings, it's just my manner. If someone tells me I hurt them, I feel bad, I apologize, I'd like to know so that I can fix it. Cut to a few days ago when I invited her and her family to my New Year's Eve party. It was fun, I thought we all had a great time and then a couple days later, I see these mysterious French status updates that I eventually translated and realized were nasty things about me. UGH! WHAT THE...? WHY?

I called her on the phone, she didn't answer, I left a message that I was deleting her so that she wouldn't be bothered about my status updates and networked blog anymore and I also said, "This friendship is over, I thought we were friends again but clearly, I was wrong." I told her that I was deleting her from FB and that was at least offering the courtesy of a call which didn't happen with her when she deleted me before. I promptly hung up after feeling instantly transported back to high school! I shouldn't have let it get to me so much but I couldn't help it, I feel so betrayed and taken and can't help but wonder if maybe this was her plan all along because perhaps what I said before was so hurtful to her (not that I know what it was) that she's been planning on getting back at me. Keeping with the high school feel, all I can think to say is "Whatever."

I'd like to end by thanking all of you who commented on facebook or this blog yesterday and who support me, who understand social networking and blogging and especially to those of you who I've known for 6+ years and have never actually met in person, you girls are better friends than people who I live right down the street from and see on a regular basis. I would never call you "virtual" friends, you're real friends who I just happened to meet virtually and I really hope that someday we can all meet in person because you are all special to me. Thanks.

I know it will continue to hurt me, irritate me, confuse me and I'll continue to question why this all actually happened but I have to look at the bright side and know that truly, this isn't a person I need in my life, even if she never intended for me to realize her comments were about me, the fact is that they were and for some reason she has an inner dislike for me that I will not be able to change. Lesson learned. "Au Revoir Frenemy, Au Revoir."

Better Late than Never...

I finally came up with some New Year's Resolutions. At first, when I thought about it, I thought it might be silly because generally people don't keep resolutions but then I realized that I lost 85 pounds last year so I guess that means I DO keep resolutions. ;) I decided to pick a few things that were attainable that I knew I could achieve. I should be making a resolution to be more organized and to fold and put away my laundry as soon as it's finished (my Sister is laughing her ass off right now, aren't you Cathy?) but I knew that would never happen, so why bother even trying?

So here they are...

#1 - Try a new recipe at least two times a month and blog about it. I'd really like to build my "HungryMomma/HealthyMomma" blog but I haven't had the opportunity to do much with it. I'll post these new recipes on my healthy blog with a link from THIS blog so that will be a way to start building it. An added mini-resolution is to really work on building that blog but this is a measurable way to start.

#2 - Train for and Complete the "Broad Street Run" The Broad Street run is the biggest ten-mile race in the country. It starts at Philadelphia's Central High School and continues all the way down Broad Street (duh.) to the Philadelphia Naval Yard. I've heard it's a fairly easy ten miles and that most of it is ever so slightly down hill. I can run six miles now (with effort) but because the race isn't until early May, I have plenty of time to train. I am going to train with a half marathon program because that is on my agenda this year too and I figure if I can run 13.1 miles, 10 will be easy! I'm starting this next week and I'll update more on the program I've found at that time.

#3 - Continue with my Healthy Lifestyle and lose (at least) the last 20 pounds that I have left. This is sort of a silly one for a resolution because it is a part of my life now but I need to mention it if only to refocus myself and to know that it WILL happen this year.

That's about it for my "resolutions." I will try to be a bit more organized this year as well....



or not. (hee hee.)

Happy belated new year everyone, enjoy your Wednesday!

Bad Attitude...

I know I shouldn't feel this way and as a nutritionist I should want people to get healthy but I write the following with a disclaimer saying that I've been very cranky for the past few days and working out is the only thing that makes me feel better and then when I get there, every treadmill is full so with out further adieu...

Dear People who just joined the Gym because it's a New Year:

Where have you been all year? The gym has been empty, the treadmills all available and now suddenly because the date has changed you feel the need to come work out?

I am a devoted gym member, I've been here faithfully almost every day. All of a sudden, I come to work out and there you are, hanging on for dear life with the treadmill set at an obviously too difficult incline. Do you know that if you lowered your incline, let go and used your arms while walking that you'd get a much better work out? Anyway...we all know that in six to eight weeks, you'll be tired of coming, disillusioned and bored anyway so let's just make it easier on everyone, go ahead and leave now.

And while we're at it. Smoking is not good for you, smoking a cigarette and then getting on the treadmill next to me is not good for you either. Your sweaty smoke smell, and stanky smoke clothes odorwafting over towards me while I try to work hard and breathe deeply is seriously unpleasant and honestly, just quitting the smoking is going to benefit your health WAY more than huffing and puffing and wheezing away on the treadmill ten minutes after smoking a cigarette. Perfume doesn't cover it up, you're not fooling anyone. Perfume is pretty much just as offensive and the two of them combined make me want to hurl.

Lastly, for those of you who DO plan on continuing after the "gym honeymoon phase" is over, good for you! Keep coming, keep working out. Please don't forget about the healthy eating, you'll feel great as those pounds come off but could you try to at least leave me a treadmill between the hours of noon and three? I'll be there, we can roll our eyes at the treadmill holder on-ers, the smokers and the excessive perfume wearers together.

Thank you and have a great work out.
CityMomma/CountryMomma

The Blahs... I haz 'em

It's 2010... I know you all know that it's a new month, a new year, a new decade. I just can't seem to get with the program and embrace it however. I don't know why that is.

The Son did not go back to school today, he's been sick for the past couple days with an on and off fever, a little vomiting and just general crankiness. When he wasn't feeling well this morning, we decided to take him to the doctor and lo and behold... the child has an ear infection! The doctor was shocked because The Son acted as friendly and as cute as can be, he told us he's had no ear pain other than his ear feeling "a little weird" and he acted like such a Big Boy at the doctor's office. When she looked in his ear, she couldn't believe how badly infected it was, he's on antibiotics now and spent the last hour+ playing with play-doh.

So, I guess The Son not going back to school hasn't helped me feel like I should be getting back into the swing of things either. I'm trying... I really hate the new year, the holidays are over and we just have months and months of cold weather to look forward to, I need to snap out of it for sure.

My holiday decorations are still up. Still. Up. I haven't felt the motivation to begin taking them all down but I plan on doing it one of these days. Or weeks.

I've been feeling out of control with my eating and again, I don't know why that is. I haven't had my meeting for a couple weeks because my meeting day is Thursday and the past few Thursdays have been holidays. We're back again this Thursday and I'm pretty sure that I'll be able to get it back under control, I've been journaling off and on but I know that I need to focus, I did OK over the holidays but not as good as I would have liked to.

The Husband has been sick and he's coming home early so that I can go to the Y for a work out and a swim instructor meeting, I know the working out will help me feel a little bit better. I hope that The Son will make it to school tomorrow and perhaps that will get me heading in the right direction. I have a couple "resolutions" I want to tell you about but I'm not really feeling that right now either. I'll try to snap out of it because I hate feeling like this.

Hope you're all doing better than I am with this new year and that your Monday was OK.

I just updated my running mileage in my sidebar...

but I didn't want to lose the record of the following completely so I'm copying and pasting it here.
I'll be back to my regularly scheduled blogging tomorrow. Enjoy the rest of your weekend.

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Miles I've run since the Race for Hope, November 1, 2009...

11-1-09 to 11-7-09 - 22 miles
11-8-09 to 11-14-09 - 19.75 miles
11-15-09 to 11-21-09 - 17.25 miles
11-22-09 to 11-28-09 - 18.75 miles
11-29-09 to 12-5-09 - 25 miles
12-6-09 to 12-12-09 -25 miles
12-13-09 to 12-19-09 - 18.50 miles
12-20-09 to 12-26-09 -19.50 miles
12-27-09 to present - 14.5 miles

Total 180.25 miles

Lordy, Lordy, Momma's Forty!

Happy Birthday to me! I know that age is just a number but I must admit that this day is one I've been dreading. I have issues with getting older, I mean really, I cried on my thirtieth birthday. Over the year, I have watched all my high school friends turn 40 on facebook and although there are two who still hang on to 39 for a couple more days, I really enjoyed being one of the youngest... I guess graduating at 17 has some advantages. ;)

Being a "holiday baby" has always been something I've enjoyed. Others have asked if I got "ripped off" at the holidays because I am so close to Christmas, but as a child, my parents always made sure to keep the days separate and it's really nice to start off a new year with a new age AND an actual new year, it makes keeping track of events pretty easy if that makes any sense. I've also felt like the celebrations just continue from Christmas all the way through to New Year's... nothing wrong with that! 2009 has been quite a year for me. I've had lots of ups and many downs but I don't generally like to discuss my "downs" on my blog, I try to keep this a positive place for myself so, for today, I'll just focus on the positive happenings from the past year.

• I continue to have loving support from all my family and friends. The Son is thriving in Kindergarten, The Husband loves me through thick and thin, (pun intended) I've made so many new friends at the Y this year and my dogs keep me happy and healthy (most of the time.)

• I lost 83.8 pounds in 2009! I will definitely reach my goal of a total of at least 100 lost some time in 2010. This is an accomplishment I never thought I could do but I can now look back and say it's been a really fun journey. I've learned simple things that will keep me healthy for the rest of my life and I know I will never been obese again.
  

• I am running! RUNNING! And... I actually like it. I have so much more to accomplish with my running but I love that it's the kind of activity with which I can always set goals to improve, be it increasing my speed, my distance or just trying new runs outside. I will never get to the point where I can't improve and that's the kind of activity I like. I can reach the goals and then set new ones for myself to just keep getting better and better... do you think that in 10 years I'll be talking about running marathons? It's possible!
  

So, those are probably the best things that happened to me when I was 39, I look forward to what 40 will bring for me. I do have some goals to set for myself but I'm waiting until 2010 to write about them... my goals for today however are simple and a fun way for me to celebrate my birthday. I am heading to the Y to run six miles today, this will be the longest run I've ever had and I will probably be very sore when it's finished but I know I can do it. (I'll be taking tomorrow off from the gym, I will need it) After my work out, I am getting my nails done, not something that's terribly pleasurable but at least it will be done. Following my nail appointment, I plan on heading to the Goodwill for a little thrift shopping, I know to most this wouldn't be an exiting birthday but I can't get enough of my finds at the Goodwill and I get compliments on my wardrobe all the time... little do people know... I will also hit Trader Joe's to pick up a few of my much needed items, European yogurt and my tomato soup, yes, I'm an addict! After that, I'll be coming home to a clean house! The Husband took off from work today so that he could clean the house for me and as most women know, this is a fantastic present! The Son is obviously home from school today and The Husband also took off so that I could enjoy my day by myself. We'll be eating a yummy healthy dinner of filet, shrimp, asparagus and roasted potatoes for dinner. Woo HOO!

Well, my bloggy friends, I'm off to the gym. I hope you all have a fantastic December 29th... I know I will!