Writer's Workshop... Solicited, Unsolicited Parenting Advice

It's Thursday and I really liked one of Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop prompts this morning. I haven't participated in a while but I have been thinking of telling you all about this for a while now and this presents me with the perfect opportunity:

Share a piece of unsolicited parenting advice...only I'm soliciting it.

Mama Kat writes a lovely piece about getting her day care children to nap every day, this includes her own children of course. She offers some great ideas which she guarantees work with the children she takes care of. Solid advice, you can be sure. My solicited, unsolicited parenting advice is somewhat different...

There are many theories on child-rearing and parenting, "Parenting by Loving Guidance and Firm Boundaries," "Parenting by Using Natural and Logical Consequences," Parenting Using Mutual Respect and Listening," etc., etc. I'm sure they're all fine, but ultimately our goal as caregivers is to get those in our care to do what we want them to do, when we want them to do it. That brings me to my theory of parenting...

"Parenting by Competition" *

My theory works especially well for boys and I say that because I have no experience parenting a girl. If you are the parent of a female child, well, you'll have to modify these competitions to suit your purposes. It's really a very simple strategy. Just turn everything into a competition. Everything. Your child will want to win so much that they'll complete any task you ask of them, and they'll do it quickly. The key here is that you must allow your child to win pretty much all the time. Allow me to offer a few examples:

1- Cleaning up their toys...
When your child has toys that need to be cleaned up, all you have to say is, "I bet I can clean up more toys than you can AND in a faster time." Your child will instantly begin cleaning up so that they can beat you. Remember, you must allow them to beat you.

2- "Trying" to go potty when out at the mall...
This works well when your child is completely potty trained and is able to go into a bathroom stall by themselves with you in the stall next to them. It's great for those kids who say, "I don't have to go" when you know darn well that they do. Simply tell them, "I bet I can pee faster than you can." Works. Every. Time. I used it when The Son was younger, in the process of potty training, and we had to go in the same stall by telling him that I could pee longer than he did and pretending to time it, with him winning of course...

3- Going upstairs to go to bed...
Simple... "I bet I can beat you up the stairs." This one has been used in our household when the theory of "Parenting by Competition" is starting to lose it's effectiveness, this is when YOU actually win the race up the stairs. It WILL make your child angry to lose but it will also give you the upper hand by making the winning next time all the more desirable. You can quickly alleviate any anger by moving on to the next competition... "I bet can put toothpaste on my toothbrush faster than you can."

4- At the Y or beach or swimming club...
"I bet I can get dressed (or undressed or changed into my swimsuit) faster than you can"

Try it! You can add, change and modify the competitions to suit your many parenting needs. I guarantee my "Parenting by Competition" theory WILL work. If it doesn't, I suggest you research my other parenting theory... "Parenting by Bribery."

*disclaimer: This theory of parenting is meant to be taken with a grain of salt, rest assured that The Son, is truly a loving, sweet, good boy with whom we only need to resort to "Parenting by Competition" with on rare occasions. On those occasions however, it really does work. ;)